Precepts of Sexuality

                                                            Precepts of Sexuality

     Sexuality has been distorted on many levels in our modern culture.  Christians face a great deal of spiritual warfare around the subject of sexuality.  This is not the way that God intended for it to be, but since the fall of Adam and Eve there has been a shameful cloud that has been harboring over views concerning sexuality.  Sex was created by God himself, and he ordained it from the beginning of creation.  We seriously need to guard our hearts over these attacks so we can learn to fulfill our God-given desires through godly healthy relationships (Laaser, M. HS 102).

     Our present culture has transformed the meaning of sex into an economic craze of immorality.  Character has not been considered by the greed of the wealthy that have progressed into a vacuum destroying the moral value of sexuality.  It is a problem that all people face because of the desensitizing media that has pointed in the direction of sexual exploitation.  Godly sexuality is meant to bring us into an authentic relationship through communicating, making a connection between each other, and communion in marriage (Balswick & Balswick, 2003).

      Authentic sexuality is not shameful, and God created it to be natural.  God made man and woman to respond to one another in intimate ways as part of His sovereign plan in the communion of marriage.  Godly relationships treat one another with honor and deep respect, and this union was not meant to be exploited by shame because God fully intended for the act of sex to be for enjoyment.  Less than one hundred years ago couples were told not to engage in too much intercourse because the act of sex is what lead Adam and Eve down the wrong path.  Sex was viewed as disgusting or shameful, and this is not what the scriptures show us to be true.  This is a direct act of how culture, even among the church can develop misconceptions that are invaded by culture (Balswick & Balswick, 2003).

     Sin can distort the act of sex itself and this is a direct correlation of the fall of man.  We no longer live in a perfect state, and with the fall came turmoil that effected every perception of our lives.  While sexuality was God’s gift designed by a man and woman under a covenant the distortion has led us away from God’s divine plan because of our fallen nature.  Sin has disrupted our relationships in many areas of jealousy, slander, murder, neglect and guilt since that time of deception in the garden.  It was the disobedience that led to sin and not the willful communion of sex between Adam and Eve.  Sex was created by God to be enjoyed between man and woman by their covenant to God and each other (Balswick & Balswick, 2003). 

     According to Hawkins, R. HS 103, we as believers have to come to the understanding that God created beautiful things, and sex was not meant to be a shameful act between committed couples.  The church as failed to teach Godly principles on the subject of sex, and parents have avoided training their children in the understanding of healthy sexuality.  The subject of sex has been swept under the rug and I feel a reason for this is because of the misconception of culture and the shame the church has portrayed on the subject.  An important thing to remember is God created sex for our good and our pleasure, and it was not intended to be an evil act the way that the church has addressed it.  God had a plan between a man and woman to enter into a covenant with him, and the two would become one flesh and created sex to fulfill relationships with intimacy and a closer walk with God.

     We can read in Genesis 1:26-31 and Song of Solomon 2:24-25 how God sanctified His purposes and it is a huge misconception to belief that sex is an evil act.  The church has failed to teach these principles, while ignoring the subject under the perceptions of embarrassment and shame.  Believers strife to abide by the fruit of the spirit and one important aspect is self-control.  If we have no self-control it can lead to ungodliness and causes constrains in all aspects of life.  This clearly does not demonstrate extinction, nor is shame considered to be
God’s logic or reasoning.  There is no satisfaction in the appetite of sex outside of a covenant and God’s heart is through the act of marriage and commitment. Genesis 2: 18-25, Proverbs 5: 1-23 (Hawkins, Ron HS 103).

      There is an understanding of why God instituted a covenant and this clearly needs to be understood in our modern culture.  Modern sexuality has become distorted by the viewing of media and cultural values that lead to sin.  If sex is taken out of the protection of marriage, relationships become further apart sexually than ever before, so when God designed his plan he also had our wellbeing at the closeness of his heart so our lives would be created in wholeness.

There are values in relationships for making sex a priority and it would include intimacy in the relationship and time should be scheduled for the fulfilling of these needs.  God is creative and we should also be creative when loving our partners as long as both consenting (Hart, A., Hart, C., Weber & Taylor HS 105).

     Until we understand these important precepts towards sexuality, there will be little change in  our modern culture.  Until the church makes a stand to defend sexuality as pureness and Godly in a covenant relationship there will be a distortion that among believers sex is evil or an undesirable subject.  It is the ultimate responsibility of believers to speak truthfully and scripturally about the precepts concerning sexuality and how God intended us to have healthy and fulfilling relations in our marriages that create wholeness and completeness in our lives.

     Men need to feel respected, and women have a need for quality relationships and through our modern culture we have seen the damage that has been created through the structure of our families and distorted views.  There is a need for sacred trust.  Ephesians 5:33 explains how a woman needs to feel loved.  When this happens the husband in turn will have a more responsive partner if he demonstrates that love towards her (Mayo, J. HS 205).  Russ Willington (HS 206) addresses a critical point that we should clearly understand as he stated “Christians who live in bondage to shame are missing the freedom and pleasure that God intended for them to experience.  This can lead to sad consequences outside of a covenant, because sex will never be complete without the nurturing of true intimacy that is ordained by God through our love towards him.  It leads to bitterness, betrayal, broken families and self-condemning shame.  He clearly designed sexuality to be enjoyable and not something to confuse with evil.  He also understood the complications of what would occur if self-control was not understood in the covenant of marriage.  As believers we have failed to give these warnings.  We often speak of sexuality as an evil entity distorted with shame, but that was never God’s intention.  God designed it for our pleasure and to also be fruitful. 

     Relationships have to be nurtured and not neglected.  While working on our lives together we have to look at the positive things in our partner, and laugh with them and also learn how to touch without it being sexual at times.  God does not abandon us without instructions and clearly explains it in the writings of the Song of Solomon.  There are clear instructions on how to avoid pain in our relationships.  Chris McCluskey (HS 202), stated “Couples who learn how to enjoy the spirit of the act of making love, have a unique “super glue” that holds their marriage together and glorifies God through their oneness.”

     In my conclusion of sexual precepts there is one very important thing that every believer needs to consider about sexuality;  The church and culture have mislead the understanding that sex is a behavior, and it is up to each individual to choose in the appropriation, however; the Bible teaches something different.  God created sexuality and it is about the whole person, and not just a behavior or choice.  When our young generation struggle in these areas it is up to believers to help them understand what is behind these natural urges and drives and not to destroy these occurrences with shame and distortions.  God hardwired men and women to be in union with one another in a commitment of marriage.  If we cannot explain these things to the young, they will be distorted in their views of sexuality and will be trodden under by the popularity of modern sexuality that has no structure of morality.  While we steer towards the marriage vows being destroyed by the media, what are we doing in our churches to address these issues scripturally.  Just say no is not enough.  We have to teach and evaluate the outcome of what can occur when those natural feelings are out of control.

       There are consequences and reasons why God ordained a covenant between a man and a woman.  It was to create wholeness and trust that leads to a fulfilling life in Him, and when we engage those natural experiences with out that bond of union, our relationships are destroyed and the scars are left with shame and unworthiness.  I think we can do better.  The media is winning and destroying the moral character of the covenant of marriage as we sit quietly and refuse to look at these Godly precepts.  We can no longer ignore these things.  Judgment starts at the house of God and we can no longer ignore these serious issues and the sadness of their outcome.

 

                                                             References:

Balswick Judith K.., Balswick Jack O. (2003) Authentic Human Sexuality;An Integrated

     Christian  Approach 2^nd Edition

Hawkins, Ron (HS 103) God’s Great Idea:  Toward a Theology of Sexuality

Laaser, Mark (HS 102) The Seven Desires:  The Roots of Healthy Relationships

Mayo, Joseph M.D, Mayo, Mary Ann, MA (HS 205) Sex after 40: Menopause and Aging

McClusky, Chris (HS 202) The Spirit of the Act:  Having Sex or Making Love?

Rosenau, D., Taylor, D., Sytsma, M. (HS 204)  Battling Disorders of Desire

Willingham, Russ (HS 206) Sexual Healing:  Breaking Free From Guilt, Shame, and the Past