Precepts of Sexuality
Sexuality has been distorted on many
levels in our modern culture. Christians
face a great deal of spiritual warfare around the subject of sexuality. This is not the way that God intended for it
to be, but since the fall of Adam and Eve there has been a shameful cloud that
has been harboring over views concerning sexuality. Sex was created by God himself, and he
ordained it from the beginning of creation.
We seriously need to guard our hearts over these attacks so we can learn
to fulfill our God-given desires through godly healthy relationships (Laaser,
M. HS 102).
Our present
culture has transformed the meaning of sex into an economic craze of immorality. Character has not been considered by the
greed of the wealthy that have progressed into a vacuum destroying the moral
value of sexuality. It is a problem that
all people face because of the desensitizing media that has pointed in the
direction of sexual exploitation. Godly
sexuality is meant to bring us into an authentic relationship through
communicating, making a connection between each other, and communion in
marriage (Balswick & Balswick, 2003).
Authentic
sexuality is not shameful, and God created it to be natural. God made man and woman to respond to one
another in intimate ways as part of His sovereign plan in the communion of
marriage. Godly relationships treat one
another with honor and deep respect, and this union was not meant to be
exploited by shame because God fully intended for the act of sex to be for
enjoyment. Less than one hundred years
ago couples were told not to engage in too much intercourse because the act of
sex is what lead Adam and Eve down the wrong path. Sex was viewed as disgusting or shameful, and
this is not what the scriptures show us to be true. This is a direct act of how culture, even
among the church can develop misconceptions that are invaded by culture
(Balswick & Balswick, 2003).
Sin can distort
the act of sex itself and this is a direct correlation of the fall of man. We no longer live in a perfect state, and
with the fall came turmoil that effected every perception of our lives. While sexuality was God’s gift designed by a
man and woman under a covenant the distortion has led us away from God’s divine
plan because of our fallen nature. Sin
has disrupted our relationships in many areas of jealousy, slander, murder,
neglect and guilt since that time of deception in the garden. It was the disobedience that led to sin and
not the willful communion of sex between Adam and Eve. Sex was created by God to be enjoyed between
man and woman by their covenant to God and each other (Balswick & Balswick,
2003).
According to
Hawkins, R. HS 103, we as believers have to come to the understanding that God
created beautiful things, and sex was not meant to be a shameful act between
committed couples. The church as failed
to teach Godly principles on the subject of sex, and parents have avoided
training their children in the understanding of healthy sexuality. The subject of sex has been swept under the
rug and I feel a reason for this is because of the misconception of culture and
the shame the church has portrayed on the subject. An important thing to remember is God created
sex for our good and our pleasure, and it was not intended to be an evil act
the way that the church has addressed it.
God had a plan between a man and woman to enter into a covenant with
him, and the two would become one flesh and created sex to fulfill
relationships with intimacy and a closer walk with God.
We can read in
Genesis 1:26-31 and Song of Solomon 2:24-25 how God sanctified His purposes and
it is a huge misconception to belief that sex is an evil act. The church has failed to teach these
principles, while ignoring the subject under the perceptions of embarrassment
and shame. Believers strife to abide by
the fruit of the spirit and one important aspect is self-control. If we have no self-control it can lead to
ungodliness and causes constrains in all aspects of life. This clearly does not demonstrate extinction,
nor is shame considered to be
God’s logic or reasoning. There is no satisfaction in the appetite of sex outside of a covenant and God’s heart is through the act of marriage and commitment. Genesis 2: 18-25, Proverbs 5: 1-23 (Hawkins, Ron HS 103).
God’s logic or reasoning. There is no satisfaction in the appetite of sex outside of a covenant and God’s heart is through the act of marriage and commitment. Genesis 2: 18-25, Proverbs 5: 1-23 (Hawkins, Ron HS 103).
There is an understanding of why God
instituted a covenant and this clearly needs to be understood in our modern
culture. Modern sexuality has become
distorted by the viewing of media and cultural values that lead to sin. If sex is taken out of the protection of
marriage, relationships become further apart sexually than ever before, so when
God designed his plan he also had our wellbeing at the closeness of his heart
so our lives would be created in wholeness.
There are values in relationships for making sex a priority
and it would include intimacy in the relationship and time should be scheduled
for the fulfilling of these needs. God
is creative and we should also be creative when loving our partners as long as
both consenting (Hart, A., Hart, C., Weber & Taylor HS 105).
Until we
understand these important precepts towards sexuality, there will be little
change in our modern culture. Until the church makes a stand to defend
sexuality as pureness and Godly in a covenant relationship there will be a
distortion that among believers sex is evil or an undesirable subject. It is the ultimate responsibility of
believers to speak truthfully and scripturally about the precepts concerning
sexuality and how God intended us to have healthy and fulfilling relations in
our marriages that create wholeness and completeness in our lives.
Men need to feel
respected, and women have a need for quality relationships and through our
modern culture we have seen the damage that has been created through the
structure of our families and distorted views.
There is a need for sacred trust.
Ephesians 5:33 explains how a woman needs to feel loved. When this happens the husband in turn will
have a more responsive partner if he demonstrates that love towards her (Mayo,
J. HS 205). Russ Willington (HS 206)
addresses a critical point that we should clearly understand as he stated
“Christians who live in bondage to shame are missing the freedom and pleasure
that God intended for them to experience.
This can lead to sad consequences outside of a covenant, because sex
will never be complete without the nurturing of true intimacy that is ordained
by God through our love towards him. It
leads to bitterness, betrayal, broken families and self-condemning shame. He clearly designed sexuality to be enjoyable
and not something to confuse with evil.
He also understood the complications of what would occur if self-control
was not understood in the covenant of marriage.
As believers we have failed to give these warnings. We often speak of sexuality as an evil entity
distorted with shame, but that was never God’s intention. God designed it for our pleasure and to also
be fruitful.
Relationships
have to be nurtured and not neglected.
While working on our lives together we have to look at the positive
things in our partner, and laugh with them and also learn how to touch without
it being sexual at times. God does not
abandon us without instructions and clearly explains it in the writings of the
Song of Solomon. There are clear
instructions on how to avoid pain in our relationships. Chris McCluskey (HS 202), stated “Couples who
learn how to enjoy the spirit of the act of making love, have a unique “super
glue” that holds their marriage together and glorifies God through their
oneness.”
In my conclusion
of sexual precepts there is one very important thing that every believer needs
to consider about sexuality; The church
and culture have mislead the understanding that sex is a behavior, and it is up
to each individual to choose in the appropriation, however; the Bible teaches
something different. God created
sexuality and it is about the whole person, and not just a behavior or
choice. When our young generation
struggle in these areas it is up to believers to help them understand what is
behind these natural urges and drives and not to destroy these occurrences with
shame and distortions. God hardwired men
and women to be in union with one another in a commitment of marriage. If we cannot explain these things to the
young, they will be distorted in their views of sexuality and will be trodden
under by the popularity of modern sexuality that has no structure of
morality. While we steer towards the
marriage vows being destroyed by the media, what are we doing in our churches
to address these issues scripturally.
Just say no is not enough. We
have to teach and evaluate the outcome of what can occur when those natural
feelings are out of control.
There are consequences and reasons why God
ordained a covenant between a man and a woman.
It was to create wholeness and trust that leads to a fulfilling life in
Him, and when we engage those natural experiences with out that bond of union,
our relationships are destroyed and the scars are left with shame and unworthiness. I think we can do better. The media is winning and destroying the moral
character of the covenant of marriage as we sit quietly and refuse to look at
these Godly precepts. We can no longer
ignore these things. Judgment starts at
the house of God and we can no longer ignore these serious issues and the
sadness of their outcome.
Balswick Judith K.., Balswick Jack O. (2003) Authentic Human
Sexuality;An Integrated
Christian Approach 2nd Edition
Hawkins, Ron (HS 103) God’s Great Idea: Toward a Theology of Sexuality
Laaser, Mark (HS 102) The Seven Desires: The Roots of Healthy Relationships
Mayo, Joseph M.D, Mayo, Mary Ann, MA (HS 205) Sex after 40:
Menopause and Aging
McClusky, Chris (HS 202) The Spirit of the Act: Having Sex or Making Love?
Rosenau, D., Taylor, D., Sytsma, M. (HS 204) Battling Disorders of Desire
Willingham, Russ (HS 206) Sexual Healing: Breaking Free From Guilt, Shame, and the Past
