Are you being your child's parent or best buddy?

Teenagers are difficult no doubt.  They are going through one of the most critical periods of there lives.  They aren't little children, nor can they have a clear judgement about there lives and there decisions always.    I have learned many things about the feelings of wanting to have what you think you want.  Sometimes for an adolescent this is not always sound judgement.  When I was 13 life at home was very dis functional and I wanted to always be somewhere else.  My friends were an escape and they had a great influence on many things that I did.  Because of the confusion at home very often I would ask to go somewhere and more times than not It was agreeable.  In other words, because of the confusion at home, thoughts weren't focused on what I was doing when I left home.  Not to say that my parents didn't love me, but very often when we are dealing with our own problems at home we loose focus, because of the stress in our own lives.

Should we be our children's best friends?  I think not.  Many kids today are watching everything we do.  Whether we are smoking, drinking or not dealing with our problems.  They know every detail.  We model so many things in there lives.  Children project what they learn into there own lives.  I remember wanting to be away from home because of alcoholism or fighting many times at home.  I wanted to be any place but home.  I babysit my brothers and sisters and sometimes even felt as though they were my own kids.  I was the oldest out of 7  and had a great deal of responsibility because so often there was so much dysfunction going on there was a great deal of distractions of what we were doing at kids.  We could wonder off for miles and there was never a problem with that because we could do what we wanted and as long as we were home before bedtime It was all good.

At 13 I left to go and live with my Dad and he was going through a divorce at the time and resowing some of his oats and was very liberal in what he would allow me to do.  I of course had been sneaking around for a year before with cigarettes and I was caught smoking.  I was amazed at how this seemed like it was really know big deal to him.  He started buying me cigarettes and I felt very uncomfortable about it, but I pursued this because I was very young and didn't have a clue about judgements and how they could damage my life.  It didn't seem to worry my parents at the time.  Through this process, drinking was added and also I was allowed to drink.  This was a critical time and it was so easy to do rebellious things or daring things because it was easily available.  I moved in with my dad at the time because of the fighting at home which seemed unbearable at times.  I was however not allowed to smoke or drink at home, it was a lack of supervision and not a great deal of focus on me because my mother was greatly distracted by her own problems.

I stayed with my dad and I thought he was the greatest at this time because he would let me do these things.  I thought this was loving by allowing me to have my way.  I can remember being dropped off at the corner hang out by my Father and he never questioned me or worried that my life could be in danger.  I wasn't mature enough at the time to care because teenagers just wish to have there way and can't discern these things for themselves.  Distant from my mother for several years I moved to Virginia with my Father without consent from my mother.  My mom later discovered I was out of state and she went into a mode of panic.  At this time I felt a huge emptiness and there was no God to direct my paths or nurturing from these harmful things that were happening.

My mother was insist ant that I come home.  She sent for me a plane ticket and I flew back to my mother when I was 15 years old.  I will never forget the feeling of seeing her run to me as I got off the plane.  She grabbed me up and hugged me tighter than I ever remembered before.  It was one of the best feelings that I can remember between us.  I felt she truly cared.  She had found out about the marijuana and was very concerned that I had became addicted on drugs.  That was not the case but I had certainly lost a great deal of innocence of what I had become with open doors that allowed me to walk through them with little resistance.

     At 16 barely shy of 17 I became an unwed mother.  I had one boy friend and that was one from high school.  Again I was allowed to date at an early age and very little restrictions placed upon me besides a 12 o'clock curfew.  I was following suit in some of the other girls around me that had steady boyfriends.  I was totally and literally as lost as a goose.  My oldest daughter Erica descended into the world and an entire new experience came about.  Even in the midst of hardship and being a young mother I knew I would do all I could to protect her.  Thinking in the mind of a 17 year old.  Still very immature but the best of intentions.

My point to this all is when my daughter came into her preteens, I knew I didn't want to be her best friend.  I wanted to do what was best and protect her from the drug culture and would not allow her to drink in my presence and would teach her things about God that I had learned over the years.  She went through her trials as well and rebellions.  She to ran to places maybe she could be further acquainted with getting her way.  It may have seemed like I was a prude, but did not want these things to happen to her life.  My daughter is 29 now and she has children too.  She told me recently in a conversation along with another teenage girl going through some problems her self.  Your mother can't be your best friend growing up.  I never knew why my mom wouldn't allow me to do certain things in my teenage years and you never really appreciate that type of care until you see the eyes of your own child.  It is not important to be your child's best friend or to allow your vices to fall upon them.

There is a scripture that always brings me back to a sobering thought.  Train up a child and when he is old he will not depart from it.  Reading this if you look closely it says when he is old.  God knows the young have rebellious hearts.  These are the reasons he blessed children with parents to guide and steer them in the right directions.  We didn't always go to Church but I did attempt to teach them the rules of walking a line of correction and consequences to bad decisions and cared enough to discipline and correct them when they made poor decisions.  So many parents are dealing with these issues today, and we do not do our children justice when we put them in vulnerable positions and they watch our every moves and how we live our lives.  They still look to us when they are grown and examine our true selves to what we teach to them.  If it is hypocritical, when they see you doing these same things, they will bring it to your remembrance.  Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is older he will not depart from it.  Your teenager is not going to understand your rules but they definitely understand whether you are allowing them to be put in dangerous situations.  They will reflect back and one day question why you allowed them to go through those doors.

We must never give them all of there desires.  They are learning and want to have there way about it all.  They can not discern having safe judgements without our guidance or concern.  Your kids may not like you for it but they will love and appreciate you much in every way in the end.  Care enough to tell them no.  Care enough to check on them.  Don not let them wonder off in a place that is very unknowing and unsafe for them.  Communicate but do not compromise there lives for the sake of pleasing them apart from your better judgement.  God bless, a lesson well learned from experience.

The Increasing Reliance of Mental Health Professionals On Drug Therapy Has Dangerous Consequences for Children

This was α simplier  Time .  Memory of  My Dad , R Nelson

Prescription drug abuse is growing increasingly popular. The growing trend is gradually

getting worse, and can include grave implications, such as coma and death. According to Dr. John Goathe, the director of the Burlingame Center for Psychiatric Research in Connecticut noted that the office visits for children being prescribed anti-psychotic drugs had increased more than 600% in the years of 1993-2002 (Szalavitz, M.,May 2009,Time Magazine). Even preschoolers are being exposed to anti-psychotic drugs. Children from the ages of 2- 4 have experienced a rapid growth rate by three times the amount of time over a 5 year span of time. (Null, G., the Drugging of our Children). The evidence will support the claim from professionals in the field of health. The intention of the argument is to bring awareness of the impending dangers our society is being presented with.

     
     There is a great fear of compromise with the children being medicated, while their brains

have not fully developed. According to (Null) In 1986, researcher found brain shrinkage in 50 percent of adults that had been treated with stimulants for hyperactivity since childhood.
Doctors are aware that high doses of stimulants can cause brain damage, but no one has
Questioned the concern that chronic low doses could also create brain damage in the cases of children that are being treated for ADHD. We are becoming a medicated society, and while I agree the severe cases do have a cause of medication, we are becoming increasingly dependent upon drugs, and we don't know the underlying implications of what will be the outcome of the side effects.

     The television advertisements are growing more in number marketing more new drugs that are relative to depression and emotional disorders. While listening to each commercial at the end you will be given a long list of side effects, and I think we are growing desensitized to the harm of the long term effects. Very often the side effects of the drugs can produce greater harm than good of the medication. The pharmaceutical companies are making an enormous amount of profit for a dangerous price at the expense of quality of life. (Null, Gary, The Drugging of our Children)noted “Ritalin’s side effects has a more potent effect on the brain than cocaine and we are supposed to be a country that eschews the use of mind altering substances, certainly for children”. There have been lawsuits filed against many unsafe medications and the Pharmaceuticals companies settled out of court. It was the highest lawsuit filed in US History. (Szalavitz,M.) Concluded in this case there were also huge criminal fines that were charged to some of the pharmaceutical companies for illegally marketing antipsychotic drugs. There were pay outs that were well over 5 billion dollars. There is a huge mark up on these medications and the production of new disorders continues to rise along with new medications to treat them with.

     
     Through the research that I have compiled it seems relevant that the Big Phara companies may be more concerned for their profits than human life. The doctors are being put in a position of offering drugs over behavioral therapy because the insurance companies will not pay for talk therapy. The drugs that are administered do not prove to be any more effective than talk therapy. It is much quicker and more economical for health professionals to administer these drugs because time is money, and the insurance companies are balking at talk therapy. Fortunately the talk therapy has no harmful side effects, verses psychotic drugs depressants. According to (Gardiner, Harris March, 2011, New York Times), recent research from studies have concluded that talk therapy is as effective, if not noted, for better results treating depression. There is a growing problem because psychiatrist’s can earn more money in three 15 minute appointments at 150.00 compared to 90 dollars for a 45 minute counseling session. Insurance company’s policies discourage talk therapies because of their reimbursement rates. I believe this has to do with profit over quality care of patients. Of course if you are wealthy, this will not affect you because cash is not a problem. One young doctor by the name of Matthew Levin stated that he was concerned of the rising possibilities of putting his earnings against the ethics of his patients care. He is hoping to avoid those issues.

      There are severe cases of mental illness that require drug treatment, and I am not disputing or arguing that fact. The problems are being reported that many, possibly half of the diagnosis’s are made are misdiagnosed. According to (Bruce,Shadrai; July, 2010) “Bi polar is often mistaken for depression, and this error occurs in almost half of those that have problems”. The problem with mis diagnosis is that while anti-depressants seem helpful for treating depression, it is not the proper way to treat those suffering from bi polar disorder. “Anti-depressants can worsen the disorder”. According to (Zimmerman, Mark) that lead the study in misdiagnosis he concluded by saying “Misdiagnosis can be very dangerous and have huge effects on the brain itself”. From the evidence I have researched these severe cases only make up 3 percent of the the population of the mentally ill and there are millions of prescriptions being written without the proper diagnosis. According to (Szalavitz,M.) there are many people that are being treated with Atypical Antipsychotic drugs and these drugs are for the treatment of schizophrenia and bi polar and this would make up about 3 percent. “In 2010 there were 56 million prescriptions filled for atypical antipsychotics”.

     The most dangerous side effect these drugs cause is suicidal thoughts. I have a compiling list of 29 pages full of teens as well as some adults that committed suicide and some committed murder, and these psychotropic drugs were in there systems. They had already been treated by a Psychiatrist. According to (Teen Screen Truth p.1) they raise the question if these drugs actually increase, suicide, violence and murder. They are quoted as saying. “If drugs such as Prozac, Zoloft, Ritalin, Xanax, Paxil, Thorazine and other related“anti-depressants” are actually an effective treatment, one would naturally expect suicides, murders and violent behavior to be decreasing, yet this is apparently the reverse of what is happening”. The statistics are growing higher regarding teen suicide. Some of these drugs in fact cause Akathisia, this is a mental agitation that can spark violent outbursts. It can also cause dissociative reactions, desensitizing the impact of the poor choices of wrong in the patients behavior. (Teen Screen Truth).

      We should be able to feel comfortable knowing that doctors are providing us with healthy
decisions concerning our heath. The problem that is being encountered is the side effects are growing at an accelerated rate and the overload can impair the better judgments of our health care providers. They have to sift through so many side effects and this takes a great deal of time. In an investigation done by (Duke, John Dr.) he stated “the concern of doctors being overloaded with side effects and a possible weakening in judgment to treat their patients safely.”While some of the side effects are listed on medicine bottles and are announced in the media, this is to protect the pharmaceutical companies and also the doctors that write out the prescriptions unfortunately leaving the patients vulnerable. This does not apply to all doctors but is very likely that it does happen with many of them.

    
     The greatest and most alarming conclusions lie within our children. There is a new wave of medications that have been drawn to children. ADHD and ADD. It is becoming common
practice in the public school system to determine whether our children need drugs. According to (Null, G.p.2 paragraph 4)he noted “ In some instances taking medicine is a prerequisite for attending school, with refusal to comply considered grounds for dismissal, or worse, removal of the child from the home by the state”. According to (Baughman, Fred Dr.) a board certified child Neurologist trained at New York University and Mount Sinai, he stated “It’s one thing for a court to intervene and take over as legal guardian in a case where a child’s life is truly at risk, but quite another when psychotropic drugs are forced on children who don’t fit into the mold.”

      
     Teachers are the ones that usually disclose the information to the parents along with the school counselor. This is dangerous because teachers are not doctors. It is not uncommon for 5 year old children to wiggle in their desks. Normal children are full of natural energy. According to (Null,G. p.3 para 2) he stated “What one person views as distractibility, for instance another may view as natural inquisitiveness” Many times these children are placed on medications and it is simply not needed. The psychologists of the school and recommendationsof the teacher’s evaluations of the student pressure the parents to drug their children and the parents comply because they believe they are doing what is in the best interest of their child. According to Psychologist (McGuiness, Diane, 1991) she concluded by saying, “We have invented a disease, given it medical sanction, and now must disown it. The major question is, how do we go about destroying the monster we’ve created?” There are parents that now grief and wish they would have sought after second opinions but they cannot because there children are dead. (Teen Screen Truth).

     
     This information I am about to share in one that is startling and could in fact cause life time implications on this generation of children being medicated with anti-psychotic drugs. When a child reaches the age of puberty there frontal lobe begins to grow and develop at the most growth rate since infancy. It doesn’t fully develop until the age of around 20. These years are very critical for children. The frontal lobe of our brain is where our emotions of judgment, anger and self-control and reasoning lie. (Psychology and Life 18^thedition) We often wonder why teenagers are so hard to deal with at this age and this gives us a general idea of why this can be a critical time for them. It is normal development because there are huge changes in the frontal lobe that can cause emotional upheaval during these years. The drugs can actually slow down the growth of normal development by blocking areas of the brain that have not fully matured. I am afraid we may be selling our children out to these pharmaceutical companies.  Teen suicide is increasing daily and the statistics of these drugs are ever showing there ugly faces. Psychiatrist (Cole, Joseph, p.9 Para. 1) stated “The brains of young children are developing rapidly, he pointed out, the drugs can alter the process”.

     
     Something very important to remember, according to (Null, G p. 9 Para. 6) The majority of doctors that are prescribing these medications are M. D.’s, they are not Psychiatrists, but primary care givers. They do not have the qualified training of mental illnesses to know what can happen in writing prescriptions for these life altering drugs. It has a great deal to do with quality health care and once again finances over quality of life. (Parents Magazine) points out, “Here, as with almost everything else in the tangled world of health care, behavioral problems, partly because most managed-care plans readily cover the cost of medication but often won’t pay for long-term alternative treatments, such as talk or behavioral therapy.

In my conclusion the point I hope I have properly demonstrated is that we must be careful
with these medications. Research all you can before making a decision to use them and I
would strongly recommend that you get a second opinion and be sure the proper tests are being conducted in order to determine the correct diagnosis. I believe we are on a down ward spiral in the mental health profession with the abuse of anti-depressive and psychotic drugs. There is compounding evidence that money serves a great value to the pharmaceutical industry over quality of life.

References:

Bright, Paul (July 2009) Mark Zimmerman’s study of Bi polar often misdiagnosed, study reveals

Bruce, S. (July 2010) Bipolar is Often misdiagnosed as Depression


Gardiner, H. (March 2011) Talk doesn’t pay, so Psychiatry turns instead to drug therapy. New York Times

Null, G. The Drugging of our Children (familyrightsassociation.com/bihn/white_papers-articles/drugging_our_children/) Joseph Cole

Teen Screen Truth- www.teenscreentruth.com/psychiatry_drugs_suicide.html

Szalavitz, M. (May 2009) Drugging the Vunerable: Atypical Antipsychotics in Children and the Elderly, Time Magazine

    

Why is Outreach so Important?

Why is Outreach Important?

Outreach is important to our church because it is important to God and that makes it important to every Christian for the following reasons:
• Outreach was commanded by Christ. Before His ascension, Jesus told the disciples that their impact on the world should start in their city and expand its influence into the entire world (Matthew 28.19; Acts 1:8; 2 Peter 3:9).
• Outreach is necessary for growth. Worship, discipleship, and serving are important, but if you never progress to the next stage of maturity by being involved in outreach, you will be spiritually lacking and incomplete. In life, organisms that cannot reproduce themselves are generally considered immature, unnatural, unhealthy, or damaged. If one is truly walking with God in discipleship, worship, and service, then outreach will be a natural result. All living things have the ability to produce offspring like themselves. A living church is reproducing, while a dying church has no heart or burden for the lost in their community, state, nation and world (Matthew 9:9-12).
• Outreach both glorifies and pleases God. The Bible tells us that doing God’s work is like a tree bearing a lot of fruit. Jesus told us that God is glorified when we bear fruit by reaching out to others (John 15:8; 1 Timothy 2:3–4).
• Outreach models the life of Christ in meeting needs. Jesus taught us that serving others is the same as serving Christ himself (Matthew 25:31–46).
• Outreach is needed for the survival of Christ’s church. Outreach is to a church what birth is to humanity. Without the reproduction of faith the body of Christ would cease to exist (Luke 15:7).
• Outreach is necessary to reach the world. Of the six billion people in our world, two billion live in unreached people groups with no access to the good news about Christ. Two-thirds of the world’s population are lost without Christ and will not know Him unless Christians fulfill their obligation to go, tell and send (Matthew 28.19; Romans 10:14).
• Outreach results in God’s blessing and favor on your life. The Bible is very clear that God intends to bless those whose hearts are focused on reaching out to lost and hurting people. God clearly affirms those who share His passion and heart for reaching out to those who do not know Him (Genesis 12:1–3; Luke 6:38).
• Outreach requires synergy. Loving our community and world will require individual and organizational cooperation. It calls each of us to set aside our individual preferences and combine our time, talents, and treasures (Ecclesiastes 4:9).